Coaches Always Play Their Favorites
Myth or Reality?

It’s a statement we've all heard at some point—“Coaches always play their favorites!”—and it usually carries a negative connotation. As a coach myself, I understand why this belief persists. Athletes, and more often their parents, can feel sidelined and frustrated when playing time doesn’t go as they hoped. But what does it really mean when a coach “plays favorites”?

Before jumping to conclusions, let’s address the reality of this issue and explore why certain players might appear to get more time on the court than others.

Is Favoritism Really the Issue?

Yes, it’s true that in some rare cases, favoritism can exist. We’ve all heard stories of coaches who favor their own child or consistently give playing time to athletes with personal connections. However, these situations are the exception, not the rule. In fact, many coaches who have their own children on the team often hold them to a higher standard to avoid appearing biased.

But the broader issue is the perception of favoritism and how it's defined by players and parents. When you hear phrases like, “the coach just plays their favorites,” it’s often an oversimplified way of dealing with frustration over team dynamics.

Defining "Favorites"

As a coach, let me make one thing clear: I do play my favorites. But before you raise your eyebrows, let me explain what that actually means. My favorite players aren’t necessarily the most talented athletes or the ones I personally know. They are the athletes who embody qualities that make coaching enjoyable and team success possible.

So, who are these “favorites” that I choose to play?

1. They are respectful and easy to coach
   Attitude is everything. A player who is respectful, listens attentively, and maintains a positive attitude is someone every coach wants to work with. These athletes show they are coachable and open to learning.
2. They give 100% effort
   Effort trumps talent, any day. I respect players who show up and consistently work hard, regardless of their natural abilities. These athletes may not always be the best on the court, but their determination and physical effort make them stand out.
3. They take accountability
   Mistakes happen—it’s part of the game. What’s important is how a player reacts. The athletes I favor are honest when they mess up. They own their mistakes and are willing to work with me to improve. It’s this maturity and accountability that sets them apart.
4. They are team-oriented
   A self-centered mentality has no place in a team sport like volleyball. My favorite athletes understand that they are part of something bigger than themselves. They don’t just focus on their individual stats; they’re invested in their teammates’ success and the overall goals of the team.
5. They are constantly working to improve
   I favor athletes who are goal-oriented, focused, and driven to become better. These are the players who are willing to step outside their comfort zone, take feedback, and continually work on refining their skills.
6. They are adaptable
   Volleyball is a fast-moving sport, and change is inevitable. Whether it’s switching positions, adjusting to new strategies, or stepping up when the team needs it most, my favorites are open to change and embrace challenges.
7. They are loyal
   Loyalty isn’t just about sticking with the team during wins. It’s about showing up even when things are tough, standing by your teammates, and supporting the program. These athletes believe in the process and the team’s collective goals.
8. They make sacrifices
   Balancing school, social life, and sports isn’t easy, but my favorite athletes understand that sometimes, sacrifices need to be made for the greater good of the team and their own growth. Whether it's extra practice, late nights, or missing out on social events, they make choices that align with their commitment to improvement.

The Importance of Communication

For athletes (and their parents) who feel sidelined, it’s essential to have open communication with the coach. If a player feels they aren’t getting enough playing time, instead of immediately assuming it’s favoritism, encourage them to have a respectful conversation with their coach. Often, these conversations can reveal areas for improvement or clarify the coach’s reasoning behind their decisions.

Coaches want players to succeed, but part of success involves understanding the coach’s expectations and actively working to meet them.

Conclusion: Play Your Favorites

As a coach, my “favorites” are the athletes who show up with the right mindset, work ethic, and team-first attitude. These are the players who push themselves and their teammates to be better. In my opinion, all coaches should play their favorites, but how we define that term is critical. It’s about rewarding the players who demonstrate commitment, growth, and respect for the game—not just those with the most natural talent.

So, the next time you hear someone claim that “coaches only play their favorites,” remember that being a favorite isn’t about favoritism—it’s about embodying the qualities that lead to success both on and off the court.

Coach Luc Tremblay is the Founder and Head Coach of Volleyball Winnipeg. Luc has been coaching volleyball for 30+ years with athletes of all age classes and all abilities. He has developed most of the training techniques used by VISION coaches and is responsible for the coach development program at Volleyball Winnipeg. For more details on our Coach Resources, click here.
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